I was relating my story from last year’s school supply list search to some other moms this past week.  Having two lists required me to do a lot of searching for some pretty basic items.  One item in particular that I just could not find was an 8 pack of fat crayons.  I couldn’t find any fat crayons actually… and this caused me an unreasonable amount of stress.  I looked in stores for weeks checking the crayon section and found every other crayon variety imaginable!  I was unaware that crayons came in dry erase, glitter, twistables, window crayons and even erasable.

The Open House came and I went to the school with the supplies and list in hand to apologize to the teacher for my failure to acquire an 8 pack of fat crayons.  I was both relieved and frustrated to learn that she hadn’t actually made the list, didn’t even know what was on the list and didn’t need or want fat crayons for the class!

As back to school time approaches and families across the country search high and low for items to fulfill their child’s supply list I wonder how many fruitless searches could be avoided?  How many parents will feel badly about their inability to locate the exact size or color item?

Then I read this blog post and realize that the whole thing is just a huge practical joke played on parents by sadistic teachers   Thanks for the link Christina!

I’m not sure when having a contest and declaring a winner became the worst thing that could ever happen to children.  I’ve seen a lot of it in school and with other child centric groups around town.  Generally one visit to this “we’re all winners here” false utopia is all I can handle.  Unfortunately, I haven’t yet removed them from school and so we have a lot of discussions about the difference between Mommy’s philosophy on winning and the school’s philosophy on winning.  The children know the winners even when there is no official score; the only people being fooled here are the adults.

I never let the kids win just to make them happy.  Feel free to email me with plenty of righteous indignation about how I’m destroying their tender psyches.  I see my job as a parent as planning for my own obsolescence – and teaching my children how to compete and how to handle both winning and losing are part of that teaching.

Let me explain by example.  Imagine the Boston Marathon without a winner.  Without any winners.  Imagine the marathon where no one keeps times and there is no tape to break.  Who would run that course?  Certainly many of the people who sign up to complete the course do so to test themselves against the road and find just finishing to be their victory; but many also sign up to test themselves against each other and to earn the prestige that comes from having completed the course under a certain time.  What motivating factor do you use to push yourself through the months of training and pain and sacrifice if on the day of the event you aren’t allowed to know how quickly you completed the course and where you fit within the field of competitors and if you did better than your previous time?

Now, few of us will undertake a marathon in our lifetimes but every day we are pushed to perform in little contests that get us through our days.  How much training and effort we put into our jobs determine our pay, promotions and job security.  Effort provided in class determines our grades and opportunities for further schooling.  Time spent in the garden results in beautiful flowers, flavorful foods or both!

The other important part of what I’m trying to show my children (beyond the work hard to succeed/win lesson) is that you should be gracious in both winning and losing.  It feels good to win.  It feels sad to lose.  Never take your jubilant feelings about winning and use them to hurt your opponent.  On the flip side of that, never take your sad feelings over losing and use them to be destructive or blame the winner.  If you think about it, we lose far more often than we win; therefore we really need to learn to be good losers!

We had a wonderful break and a nice long weekend.  We always have our Fourth of July celebrations coincide with Haverhill’s so that we can wrap up our barbecue with fireworks – which we watch from our yard – and then dessert while the traffic subsides.

I’m thankful for the generous donation which made the fireworks more robust this year.  They were high and clear and bright!  Our favorites were the ones that filled the sky and reminded us of dandelions gone to seed.  So to all who supported the Spring Carnival and to the anonymous donor, Thank You!

If you’re looking for something to do over the summer this website offers free bowling at a number bowling centers:

www.kidsbowlfree.com

Simply sign the kids up and they can bowl 2 games free each day over the course of the summer!  Shoe rental is extra – but still inexpensive.  If you want to bowl with your children or have older children than qualify for the free bowling you can purchase a family fun pass for the summer which is still quite the bowling bargain!

Apparently there’s a name for the theory I’m constantly trying to explain to people.  We’re safer today than ever before and yet we feel more imperiled because it benefits the media to make us feel that way.  The name is the Mean World Syndrome and I would like to posthumously thank George Gerbner for his work on the subject.  From the Wikipedia article:

Mean World Syndrome is a debatable phenomenon where the violence-related content of mass media convinces viewers that the world is more dangerous than it actually is, and prompts a desire for more protection than is warranted by any actual threat. Mean World Syndrome is one of the main conclusions of cultivation theory.

What brought this to my attention was a comment on an article from “America’s Worst Mom.”  If she’s the worst then I absolutely must make the top ten!  She sums up the crux of my parenting philosophy in one paragraph:

We have to learn to remind the other parents who think we’re being careless when we loosen our grip that we are actually trying to teach our children how to get along in the world, and that we believe this is our job. A child who can fend for himself is a lot safer than one forever coddled, because the coddled child will not have Mom or Dad around all the time. Adults once knew what we have forgotten today. Kids are competent. Kids are capable. Kids deserve freedom, responsibility, and a chance to be part of the world.

As parents we all have our own lines in the sand for things our children can and cannot do.  Mine are always open to debate based on the above philosophy and I have made adjustments based on situations and on the individual capabilities and interests of my children.  I get one shot at this parenting thing with my children and there’s so much I want to teach them before they go off into the world on their own.  Most importantly I want them to know how to carve their own path into the future.

My vacation week did not go at all as planned and so here I sit on the Sunday before we head back to school with a to-do list which will not be finished in a very timely fashion and a cup of coffee in an attempt to make next week more productive.

Speaking of next week – I thought I would start with some upcoming events which I feel are important.

On Tuesday the K-2 students at both Crowell Elementary and Golden Hill Elementary will see the Tanglewood Marionettes perform Arabian Nights.  Last year the students at Crowell saw the Tanglewood Marionettes perform The Dragon King.  The children were not the only people in the room mesmerized by their performance.  After the play there is a Q&A session and materials are provided to teachers should they wish to incorporate anything from the performance into their lessons.

Wednesday, April 28th 2010, is the final Parent Academy of the 2009-2010 school year.  Do you know what your children are doing this summer?  Come to this Parent Academy Presentation for some great information about summer programs and hear helpful hints for getting your children ready for the 2010-2011 school year.  As always the presentation is free and so is the childcare and pizza!

Thursday is Parent Teacher Conferences!

Thursday is a Family Fun Night Fundraiser at Uno Chicago Grill to benefit the Golden Hill Elementary School.  If you’re looking for a dinner out consider chatting up someone from Golden Hill for an official Uno’s paper so that a portion of your bill will be donated to the school.  Remember drinks aren’t included so don’t try and boost your bill with a bar tab!

Thursday is another meeting of the illustrious Haverhill School Committee.  The agenda won’t be available until midweek but I’m betting this one will be just as contentious as the last.  Don’t worry I will be writing about the last meeting but I have a lot to wade through as that meeting was quite long!

Just a small note about the following week.  May 3rd to May 7th is Teacher Appreciation Week.  Regardless of how you may feel about the education system in Haverhill these are the people who are with your child day after day working to educate them despite the horrid economy and equally horrid climate on the School Committee.  If you’re so inclined – this is a great week to say thanks to those who have made a positive impact on your children.

Video gamers get a bad rap most days and so I am proud to announce that the nice folks over at Penny Arcade have posted the application for their 2010-2011 scholarship.

From their Scholarship FAQ:  Each year Penny Arcade recognizes one student shown to have the most potential to positively impact the game industry via a $10,000 academic scholarship. Thousands of applicants apply, but only the following have made it through.

In addition to this wonderful scholarship opportunity, the Penny Arcade folks also hold an annual fundraiser to provide games to kids at hospitals across the United States through their Child’s Play Charity.

Stay dry this rainy weekend and I’ll be catching up on my posts over vacation!

I’ve recently had the pleasure of reading entries for the Write Away Contest sponsored by the District Parent Council.  Students in grades K through 12 have submitted writing for the annual event.  I’ve read about dinosaurs, aliens, grandparents, siblings, pets, school assignments and many other subjects.  Some very wonderful pieces of writing have surfaced from the hundreds of entries but there are some things I hope our writing teachers can spend a few extra minutes on!

There, their and they’re… three different words with three very different meanings.  I play the homophone game with my children often in the hope that they learn the proper use of each homophone and because I think word games are fun.

Commas can be your friend and are a very important piece of punctuation – but only when placed correctly.

Always read your writing aloud or have a friend read it to you.  When you hear yourself stumble or hear your friend pause in their reading – that’s a clue to go rework that section of your paper.

Whenever possible please type.

When typing please use a professional font.  You want to make your piece easily readable by your audience – funky fonts will make your piece stand out but in a negative way if they are difficult to decipher.

Keep tense consistent throughout your work.

Write about what you love.

Write as often as possible.

Read even more often.

Read a wide variety of subjects, styles and genres.  You never know when you might discover something wonderful that you never thought you would enjoy.

Above all, keep writing and learn to enjoy the nuances of the English language.  The more you write the better your writing will become and the easier you will find it to express yourself through writing.

I want to start this week with a positive post and our experience Friday evening at the HHS performance of Little Shop of Horrors is the perfect subject for such a post!

After dinner I ushered the kids off to the high school to see the play.  We talked about the play as we drove because I knew some of the subject matter could be a little scary.  Plus my kids absolutely love the dentist and I didn’t want to ruin that

We got to the high school early so we could get our tickets and make the obligatory bathroom trip and get dessert at the concession stand.  For three people to see a live show and have snacks for under $30 total I consider this a bargain on top of being a lot of fun.  We stopped at all the tables and my daughter is confused by the selling of carnations.  I keep telling her they are to buy to give to the performers after the play as a way of saying “good job” but she just wants to get one and take it home.  Dr Buchanan arrived shortly after we did and to my kids he’s a local celebrity so they made sure to wave and say hello and ask him a dozen questions about nothing in particular.

The play was fantastic.  The young lady who played Audrey has a wonderful singing voice and played her part very well.  Some you tube videos can be found here.  The gentleman who played Seymour did a fantastic job as well – and I remembered him from his equally impressive job as Scrooge in the HHS version of A Christmas Carol.  The gentleman who played Audrey’s boyfriend, the dentist, had my children so utterly convinced that he was a mean guy that we had to stop after the show and see him and say hello.  He couldn’t have been more gracious in taking the time to talk to them and thank them for coming and he apologized for scaring them.  All of the performers did a wonderful job and my kids stopped a few of them to tell them so.  I really want to give credit to those students for all taking a minute to say hello and thanks for coming to two little kids they didn’t know who stopped them out of the blue.

The work done with the set was also very good.  The four versions of Audrey Two were well made.  The audience enjoyed the dancing plant when Audrey Two was small enough to be carried around by Seymour.  The big versions were quite convincing to my kids – they were very concerned about the people who were eaten.  I kept trying to explain to them that they were really giant puppets.  Thankfully at the end of the show when everyone took their bows the people who were inside the plant came out and that ended the whole debate about the puppet plant.

The one wish I have for the performances is better attendance.  I think the house was about half full when we were there Friday.  I wonder if sending home notices of upcoming performances to the kids in the lower grades would help?  Generally I don’t see the articles in the paper until the very last minute and by then I often have other things happening.  These plays are a great way to get kids excited about going to live performances and about attending HHS.  While talking about the scenery before the play, I mentioned they could be in the drama group when they got to high school.  Each one thought a different aspect of the performance was more for them.  My daughter wants to sing and get dressed up and my son likes building things.  Both of them were asking if this school was the one they would be going to and what else could they do there.  We had a wonderful discussion about extra curricular activities and high school.

Thanks again for the great performance, the night out and the opportunity to discuss school and the future with my kids.

From the newspaper:

Haverhill High students will present the musical “Little Shop of Horrors,” March 25 through 27.

In this popular spoof on 1950s horror and sci-fi movies, a hapless florist shop worker raises a plant resembling a Venus’ flytrap, which feeds on human blood. He names it Audrey II in honor of his coworker, Audrey, who he secretly has a crush on.

…

Performances, in the high school auditorium at 137 Monument St., are March 25 and 26 at 7 p.m. and March 27 at 1 and 7 p.m.

Tickets are $8 and $5 for students and senior citizens, and are on sale at the high school during all lunches and will be available at the door.

We had an amazing time when we took the kids to see the HHS performance of “A Christmas Carol” so I am looking forward to fitting in time next weekend to take the kids for this show as well.